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Chucky's Little Dog?
The Joy of Food Service

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The Tom Cruise Show

And speaking of vomit inducing...Just in time for Valentine's Day, that master of couch-jumping, the poster boy for the necessity of psychotropic medications, Tom Cruise, is busy issuing denials in light of reports that he and his faux-lady love, Katie Holmes, have broken up.

Really, could we even have had Valentine's Day without TomKat butting in? Both TomKat and V-Day are shining examples of what commercialism, marketing excess, fake sentiment, and too much sugar can do. So, I think not.

Life and Style Magazine reported yesterday: "Multiple insiders confirmed the story to Life & Style, with one longtime friend of Tom's saying: 'Their relationship is basically over.'"

To say a relationship is over, though, implies that there was a relationship to start with. Somehow, I'm not sure that Katie Holmes agreeing to be the beard for Tom after he interviewed several other actresses actually constitutes a relationship. But, then, that's just me.

"Another friend adds: 'They both agreed that the marriage wouldn't work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other.'"

We already hate them, so I guess it was only a matter of time before they also learned to hate each other.

It wasn't long, however, before TomKat unleashed the media juggernaut of denials. Did we really expect anything less?

From E! Online:

"'Despite the malicious fallacies put forth by Life & Style magazine, the couple is looking forward to a long and happy life together as a family,' said [publicist Arnold] Robinson."

Maybe there is something in that Scientology brainwashing stuff. Because from the outside looking in (and without a Scientologist lackey looking over my shoulder), I sure as hell don't see a "long and happy life together as a family" being in the cards for Tom, Kat, or their poor unfortunate spawn.

I'm sure I'll be getting a letter seeking advice from the spawn of TomKat any day now...Or a cease and desist letter from the Scientologists.

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