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Chucky's Little Dog?

spingirl | 25 May, 2008 00:26

Children’s toys can be quite creepy. From scary clowns to Chucky himself, every generation has at least a couple of toys that are just plain freaky.

The freaky toy of Ian’s generation may very well be the Fisher-Price Laugh and Learn Learning Puppy.

Sure, it looks cute and sweet. But don’t be fooled! Because when you touch one of the many parts on his body, Laugh and Learn Puppy says things that make you realize he may not be all that mentally stable. For instance, within seconds of meeting my cute little toddler, Laugh and Learn Puppy told him, “I love you.” Whoa, whoa, whoa! This is the 21st first century! Who goes around saying the L-Word that quickly? Ian hadn’t even drooled on Laugh and Learn Puppy yet, much less made any suggestion of commitment to the animal, yet the puppy loves him. Sounds a little bonkers to me. But it gets worse.


After several minutes of examining Laugh and Learn Puppy, Ian decided to move on to something else, and he became enthralled by a rolled up tube of cardboard. Most toys would understand the fickleness of youth and accept being left out in the cold. But not Laugh and Learn Puppy. No sir. Several minutes after being abandoned for the charms of the cardboard tube, out of nowhere, Laugh and Learn Puppy said, “Hug Me!” Geez, Laugh and Learn Puppy, take a chill pill! Ian never made you any promises – there’s no reason to get all needy and possessive! I have a sudden flashback to Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction” and wonder if I will have to get a restraining order against Laugh and Learn Puppy on Ian’s behalf.

Ian, of course, is oblivious to the danger posed by Laugh and Learn Puppy, and he has moved on to playing with a toy remote control. Upon being abandoned, the rolled up tube of cardboard does not make any pathetic pleas for affection, unlike a certain mentally unbalance toy puppy. No, it just lies there, stoic, understanding that it had its moment, and now the moment is gone. However, Laugh and Learn Puppy, in a desperate bid to win back Ian, tries to engage him yet again, stating, “Bye bye.” Nice try, Laugh and Learn Puppy, attempting to play hard to get. But you forget, Ian is my son – he knows better than to fall into your trap and continues to ignore. Besides, the toy remote control has flashing lights and we all know how hard those are to resist.

In spite of my better judgment, I did not throw that affection-seeking puppy out. But don’t worry, I’m keeping my eye on him…Oooh, flashing lights! Gotta go!

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