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Advice for a confused biker boy

spingirl | 07 February, 2006 12:40

Dear spingirl,

You know, this isn’t really my style, but I really don’t know where else to go right now. See, I’ve had a bad year. Well a bad couple of years. My girl got killed, so me and my biker gang went to take out the guy we thought did it. Except that the rich white dude, “Hogan,” managed to take me out with a cheap shot. While I was out, somebody knifed one of my boys “Oscar.” Well, me and my gang knew it was Hogan, but he walked on the charge like all of those silver-spooned rich boys do. And then he kicked me and my grandma out of our house. So we went after him, torched his house, y’know. Only, after a while, I got suspicious that Hogan didn’t do it, so he and I decided to try and figure out who did do it. But I couldn’t let on to my biker gang that I was working with Hogan and suspecting one of them - they wouldn't understand - so we had to keep it on the down low. Well, the gang found out about us sneaking around, and they kicked me out of the gang and trashed my motorcycle. So here I am, no longer head of the gang and I don’t know who’s got my back anymore. And if that wasn’t all bad enough, I still have to work with that Richie Rich in order to find out who killed my boy, cause who else is gonna believe a guy like me? So, I guess, I could use a little advice to figure out what my next move is. – signed, Former Leader of the Pack

Dear Pack Animal,

Man it does seem like a crappy year. Sounds like you’ve been kind of locked in a wrenching, sweaty battle with this guy, Hogan. Both of you have been taking no prisoners, locking horns, beating each others asses. And then the sneaking around and having to keep your relationship hidden from your pals, being in a tense situation with this guy you once thought was your enemy. Sounds like a real difficult situation. But I got your answer. Repeat after me.

Say: “Repressed homosexuality.”


Dude, what you have with Hogan is nothing new. We’ve all seen the same types of dynamics for years. Petruchio and Kate. David and Maddie. Buffy and Spike. You and Hogan.

The back and forth you describe, the constant oneupmanship, sounds a lot like an attempt to release frustration on both your parts. Almost like foreplay. But it only seems to have made things worse. And now, things have come to a head.

I sympathize with you about losing your friend Oscar. But it seems like your real problems revolve around the status of your relationship with Hogan. Can you trust him? What are his intentions? Is he going to have your back? Are you going to have his back?

I think it’s time for the two of you to take a break from sleuthing and spend some quality time together trying to make sense of everything that’s gone on. Go do something fun, like see a movie. I hear “Brokeback Mountain” is pretty good.

And keep this in mind: It doesn’t matter if you ride a horse, a hog, or the bus. From humans to even the cotton weevil, we all need love. Even if it’s the love whose name dare not be spoken.

Veronica Mars , Advice for Characters :: Comment (1) :: Permalink :: Trackbacks (0)

[Reply]

Heh, thanks for the laugh.

Dragon | 07/02/2006, 22:11

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